Born in the Wrong Body?

I’ve written in previous blogs about the origins of the idea of “trans enough,” the damaging idea that some trans and non-binary folks have internalized that their experience and identity does not rise to some high bar of “transness.” To sum up a 4 part blog series in a sentence—cisgender midcentury doctors made up the idea of “trans enough,” and it’s haunted us ever since. 

Well, if you’ve ever heard the phrase “born in the wrong body,” it comes from much the same place. While this phrase may feel like an accurate descriptor to some trans people, for many folks, it simply does not resonate. Many folks are uncomfortable with this phrase, or reject it outright. Frankly, I belong to the latter group. In my view, we are all simply born in the bodies that we are born into. Saying that all trans people are in the “wrong bodies” flattens our experiences, bypassing the richness, beauty, and complexity of trans bodies, identities, and experiences. 

But what’s wrong with “the wrong body”?

This idea of the “wrong body” further opens into the idea that our bodies can and should be “made right,” setting up the conditions of the body being seen as an antagonist and/or an enemy to our overall happiness, satisfaction, and embodiment. So while some people may prefer this metaphor to describe themselves, I believe that net result of its wide use is very damaging to trans people. 

I believe that this is one of the reasons why dysphoria has become the medical basis and threshold of trans identity and medicine in the cis imagination, even though actual trans people tend to be far more complex and nuanced. And because it has been repeated so much over the years, despite the objections of many trans people, it is treated almost as a truism. 

So what’s the solution?

We need an alternative model, something that actually holds the capability to more accurately capture the nuances of the trans experience. Something that can lead to a transition process that makes room for the full humanity of people who transition socially, medically, or even simply come to new understandings of their gender through exploration and questioning. 

One option is what I call “embodied transition.” This form of transition is a process of making your body an ally and a friend rather than an obstacle to overcome. I believe that our desire to transition starts in our bodies, and that since it is our bodies that do a great deal of the changing, they can be our most powerful allies in the process. 

This approach to transition also allows your euphoria be your north star. That feeling, that embodied feeling of joy, peace, neutrality, happiness, etc, can be the thing you aim your actions toward. To me, this is much more in line with the reality of transition, and much more compassionate to trans realities. 

What possibilities open up to you if you release the idea that your body is wrong?

If you’re interested in exploring more about embodied transition, check out my upcoming workshop, “Introduction to the Embodied Transition”! We will discuss how disembodiment shows up for trans people, how to rebuild your relationship to your body, and experience two practices together that can help you create a foundation for an embodied transition. This class is perfect for folks at any stage of their gender journey who want to build a more robust connection to their bodies. Sliding scale, scholarships available (Black, Indigenous, and other people of color prioritized), and a recording will be provided. I hope to see you there!