I’m Eli Lawliet, Ph.D. (he/him)

The Gender Doula

Gender exploration is uniquely beautiful and terrifying – the ultimate both/and experience. Every gender journey is unlike any other. You start at a different trailhead than anyone else. Your trailmarkers look distinct. 

And also, there are patterns and throughlines that connect us. Our work begins in that space between your individual path and commonalities with those who have undertaken their gender journey before.

As a gender doula, my goal is to help you build a toolkit to navigate the wonders and difficulties of gender exploration. Whether you just started questioning your gender or transitioned decades ago, I’m excited to meet you wherever you are on your journey. I want you to feel exquisitely supported on this path.

I’m passionate about this work in part because I didn’t have much support when I started my own transition. I was in academia on the path to becoming a professor. If you’d asked me then about work like this, I probably would have smiled and said, “Yes, that sounds important. But I’m going to be a professor, not a gender doula.” 

Fortunately, my transcestors knew better.

While I worked my way through my Ph.D. program, the universe pointed me towards a path of supporting my community directly. Two important things happened. First, I heard Erica Livingston, a full spectrum birth doula, on a podcast. Erica said that there should be a doula for every threshold of life. It hit me all at once: Why not a gender doula?

Not long after, I received a calling to do this work. As soon as I opened myself up to the possibility, the right teachers appeared. In the years since, I’ve developed a suite of services that enables me to support individuals and service providers through exploring the big questions and the small ones.

Even though “gender doula” is a relatively new term, the work itself is not new. Our elders and community have done it for generations. Before that, our transcestors did this work for gender expansive people long ago. I bring the depth and breadth of my own skillset to bear in supporting you now. My formal education and research are just a piece of that. I also bring my training in ritual, Tarot, and breathwork, among other modalities. You don’t need to be into Tarot for us to work together, but I find many people prefer a holistic approach to gender.

Whatever resonates with you, I’ll meet you where you are and walk this path with you.

Anti-racism Statement + Land Acknowledgment

Perhaps first and foremost in this moment, Free Palestine. I will not work with any entity that supports Zionism and the ongoing genocide and land theft of the Palestinian people. I believe that we can, will, and must see a liberated Palestine in our lifetimes. This work is inherently connected to all justice work, including gender liberation. I support a free Palestine with all my resources, including money, time, attention, spiritual work, and spirit work.

As a white person living in the United States, I have inherited tremendous unearned privilege, and have been indoctrinated into a system where I benefit both directly and indirectly from an established, violent racial hierarchy. While I fully renounce white supremacy and all of its elements, I also know that by living in this nation—built on the twin genocides of its Indigenous inhabitants and people stolen from their homes in Africa and enslaved—I have absorbed the values and the violence of this system. Therefore, I take seriously my responsibility to unlearn the tenets of that system, and to rebuild my understanding of the world in conversation with the multiplicity of historically marginalized viewpoints.

I also recognize that I may cause harm as a result of my racial privilege and the power dynamics that it creates. I commit to accountability for any harm that I have caused in the past, or that I cause going forward. I am committed to listening to anyone who I have harmed, to being accountable to them and, if necessary, to community for that harm, and to doing whatever is necessary to make amends and move forward in right relationship after harms are addressed.

In addition, I commit to uplift, support, and give reparations to communities harmed by white supremacy. While I aim to do this through, for example, using my platform to highlight queer and trans Black, Indigenous, and other people of color, I also give monthly to organizations that specifically support the thriving of Black trans people as well as the Tongva Taraxat Paxaavxa Conservancy. Over time, as my business grows, I hope to give a stable percentage of my earnings to a variety of organizations that support Black and Indigenous trans people. There are other material steps I take to support marginalized members of my community, and I am happy to discuss this in detail with anyone who would like to know more.

I have benefited tremendously from the teaching of Black, Indigenous, and other people of color, especially the teachings of women and trans people. I give special recognition and thanks to the work of Miss Major, adrienne maree brown, Alice Walker, Octavia Butler, Audre Lord, bell hooks, James Baldwin, Tricia Hersey, Pixie Lighthorse, Robin Wall Kimmerer, Lama Rod Owens, Da’Shaun Harrison, Shira Hassan, and Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha.

My work and life is supported by the land of the Gabrieliño-Tongva, Chumash, and Kizh people, who came from this land, who remain in relationship to this land, who have stewarded this land for 4500 years, and who have never ceded this land to colonizers. As a settler in this place, I personally benefit from ongoing and violent land theft, and acknowledge my complicity in this violence. I write this land acknowledgment as a small part of my commitment to  rematriation of this land to the Gabrieliño-Tongva, Chumash, and Kizh people and to honor their resilience, their deep relationship to this land, and their elders, past, present, and emerging. Learn more about the Gabrieliño-Tongva people and join me in donating money to their tribe.

Teachers & Trainings

This list includes the formal education and courses I’ve taken as well as teachers with whom I studied. They inform my perspective as a gender doula and represent the lineages of my knowledges and skills.

University of California, Los Angeles | B.A. in Gender Studies, Minor in LGBTQ Studies (2017)

University of California, Berkeley | PhD in Jurisprudence and Social Policy (2022)

SEEN Doula Mentorship with Birdsong  - Erica Livingston & Laura Interlandi (2019-20)

HELD Doula Mentorship with Birdsong  - Erica Livingston & Laura Interlandi (2020-21)

Ongoing doula supervision and mentorship - Erica Livingston & Laura Interlandi (2022 - Present)

Moonbeaming (2019), Protection Magic (2022, 2023), and Clear Channels (2023) with Sarah Faith Gottesdiener

Tarot for the Wild Soul with Lindsay Mack [and multiple additional tarot trainings] (2018, 2019, 2020)

Embodiment Basics with Prentis Hemphill (2021)

Voice of the Spirit Doll (Basic and Advanced) with Julia Inglis (2021)

By Star and by Sea Tarot Journey with Julia Inglis (2022)

Marketing for Weirdos with Bear Hebert (2022)

Breathwork Facillitation Certification with Breath Liberation Society (Chauna Bryant) (2023 -2025)

Ongoing Ordination and Ritualist Mentorship with Ylva Mara Radziszewski (2024 - present)

The Gender Doula Supports

As part of an ongoing commitment to justice and to wealth redistribution, The Gender Doula supports groups, companies, and individuals who uplift and contribute to the healing, joy, and well-being of Black and Indigenous trans people.

Currently Supporting:

The Tongva Taraxat Paxaavxa Conservancy (monthly ongoing donation)

Acorn Center for Restoration and Freedom (monthly ongoing donation)

ProjectQ (monthly ongoing donation)

Black Trans Lives Thrive (monthly ongoing donation)

Trans Lifeline (monthly ongoing donation)

G.L.I.T.S (monthly ongoing donation)